Dadbod 2: the Revenge
The back story: (or Dadbod 1)
Before we had our 2nd little person I embarked upon a healthy lifestyle change and lost 2 stone and 5 and a 1/2 inches off my waist. I was happy with my body (I even had to buy a whole new wardrobe as my other clothes were now too big). I was confident and full of energy.
Then Bella arrived and everything was forgotten about. The gym membership expired and wasn’t renewed. I was grazing on all kinds of foods (and drinks). Since becoming a stay at home dad in September the road back to Dadbod has accelerated. I could feel the waistbands 're-tightening' and was back to the days of having choose specific pairs of jeans from my wardrobe depending on the activity or event.
“Will I be sitting or standing at this event?”
“Can’t use those jeans then”
Hate when I discover that my fat pants have become my skinny jeans.— AmishPornStar™ (@AmishPornStar1) December 31, 2016
Having a second child had totally reversed the work that I had put in previously. You know those ‘Wanna get shredded in just 12 weeks?’ before and after photos? I was like that…… only in reverse. And with Christmas on the horizon it wasn’t going to get any better soon….
Towards the end of what turned out to be a drunken date night (In which we went out for a 3 course meal and still finished the night with kebabs and taco fries) #junktastic the Bear (My Wife) and I had decided to relaunch the healthy us.
Side note: she's not going to be happy about the above paragraph but hey it's out there in the World Wide Web now. #no-takesy-backseys
"Would you like me to proof read your blog? there were a few spelling mistakes in the last one"
"No, I'm all good"
here is a photo of said night.... before we got too bad (....pre kebab and taco)
I understand how unhealthy I was being over the Christmas period and the need to change to a healthier lifestyle but when you are on a roll its difficult to stop, especially when its condoned by those around you as its the festive season. I always carried my 'doner card' though......
We did the usual thing we do at Christmas; got each other presents that we knew we were getting each other. Then we did the other usual thing… secretly got each other something else small to at least have some element of surprise on Christmas day. (Its tradition)
So Christmas Day came and I spent it with the in-laws, I picked up the usual pressies (Thanks, if you are reading);
And then came the Bears’ additional mystery present…..
“Why’s it in an envelope? What’s cheap that comes in an envelope?”, I was panicking
So I opened the envelope (knowing that I’d bought her a mystery present of a card game called Santa versus Jesus)
‘She’s going for the ‘out present manoeuvre’, I thought… (Oh No!!)
So I opened the envelope to find a voucher for a year’s membership in the gym I used to go to.
Deadly, I was going to have to buy that anyway.
Although in the back of my mind a little voice was saying….
“Is it because she cares or is it because I'm fat?”
So we did the whole Christmas thing (selection boxes, wine, beer, roses, quality street, you name it I ate it). Then we did the friends wedding (you name it I drank it)
Then came the phrase (its a tradition as this stage too)
However this year January started late. Well obviously, it started on the 1st of January. But 'our harsh January' started kinda mid-January.
It just got pushed out and out. The excuses came thick and fast;
...."There's still loads of chocolate in the house, we'll start when its gone"
...."I don't think I can do a dry January knowing there is so much wine in the house"
...."When are you back to work? that's when the holidays are really over, right?"
So eventually, we polished off every kind of Christmas left over; red wine, chocolate, biscuits.... everything.
Daddy's top tip:— DaddyPoppins (@DaddyPoppinsBlg) January 4, 2017
The fatter you get in December the more amazing a weight loss blog you can write in February.
(Pass me that selection box)
The gym deal was due to run out on the 8th of Jan at midnight... I had to get into the swing of things by then.
I intended to go on the Friday (the 6th).
'I kinda have to or it'll cost money' I thought. this is it, 'D-Day'
"What time are you going to the gym?"
"When the little one goes down for her 12 o'clock nap"
"What time is it now?"
"Eh......About 1:30 and she's climbing like a mountain goat in the sitting room"
The gym is open until 10pm. She should have taken her midday nap by then.
So she goes down at around 2. I do a quick run around the house tidying stuff away etc.
Right let's go.... (Gulp)
So I arrive at the gym and it has a fingerprint recognition to open the door. I have to press the buzzer and have someone come down to me. I hand them over the voucher and get them to put me back on the system. I'm thinking 'Please don't walk me round like a 'New Years resolution pleb' (even if I technically am one)'
"I've been here before, I know my way around, look my fingerprint is registered!", I implore
All the gym bunnies moaning about the newbies.— Jason (@Eireinthecity) January 2, 2015
Get over yourselves.
You didn't see us moaning when you came to use our pubs in December.
The Bear is right....
It's going to be a harsh January
Have you decided to become healthier in the new year? did you make resolutions? how are they going? are you having a harsh January too?