Baby food is evil

So whats the hardest thing about being a stay at home dad?

Is it.... the cleaning, the school runs, the rushing from place to place, making dinners, the bedtimes, the constant Balamory and Mickey Mouse Clubhouse on TV, talking about Minecraft or the lack of adult interaction? No....in my opinion it's baby food.

You see, I'm a picky enough eater, I like my food the way I like it (everyone else is wrong). I have plenty of what I'd call 'quirky rules' when eating;

  • tomato ketchup and beans do not mix (they come in a sauce for a reason)
  • ketchup and gravy should not be on the same plate
  • gravy and melted butter should not touch each other on the plate
  • white pepper goes on turnip and sweet potatoes, black pepper on meat and Italian
  • I don't eat slop; porridge, soup mushy peas. URGH!!

Soup is a sauce!! there, I said it. It's not a real food (the fact you 'drink' rather than 'eat' soup should give this away. This leads me on to 'Baby food' (*stomach heaves*). God its rank. I cant put it near my mouth. Give me a shitty nappy any day. (Not to eat obviously)

This can obviously lead to problems when one of your main duties is feeding a baby. For example these are some food recent related conversations I've had with the Bear

Conversation 1

Daddy: What will I give her for lunch?

Bear: You could give her the mushy peas in the fridge?

Daddy: Urgh, not on my watch!!

(Side note, I love fish and chips but please don't give me mushy peas with it. I want to enjoy it)

What the hell is that? Radioactive waste?

Conversation 2

Daddy: Pooh, Is this too hot for her? (showing her a spoon of baby food)

Bear: Did you check it?

Daddy: It's baby food! (It's not going in my mouth)

Bear: 'eyebrow raise'

 

Conversation 3

Bear: what did she have for lunch today?

Daddy: beans on toast. (Well it was either that or baby food!)

The Melon incident

I'm keen not to pass on my 'food quirks' to the little one though so I do pretend to eat stuff. I'm considered a weird Irish person; I don't like tea or soup. This leads to some trust issues within Irish society (and also leads me eating all the bread rolls during the soup course at a wedding).

I'm reading a book on child development (all off my own bat /end sarcasm)

This book tells me all about introducing food such as fruit at this point in Bella's life. I'm all for her eating more solids (as you can probably guess). So I recently introduced melon to her life and decided to take a photo to send to the Bear. I gave her some melon in her hand and let her off. After a few minutes I called her and got my phone ready to take the shot. Now I don't know about you but the camera on my phone takes a few seconds from when the button is pressed until it takes the photo. I wanted a lovely shot to send to mammy. So there she was, standing smiling, 'melon in hand', delighted with herself. I clicked to take the photo and in that split second she slipped, banged her lip of a toy kitchen and fell backwards on the floor.

This is the beautiful photo I got.

Bella, doing her best Gandalph impression, 'Run you fools!'

So as I tended to her bleeding lip I thought, 'This could ruin any chance of her eating fruit or solids at all!', 'What have i done!!'.

I could picture a 30 year old Bella living on a diet made up strictly of Rusks and beans on toast and a food behaviour expert relating all her dietary issues back to her father's 'quirks' and this one particular melon incident.

However once she'd been cleaned up she decided to pick the melon from the floor.

I don’t believe in the 5 second rule
— Bella, as she picks up her melon

By this stage she was only interested in the melon and had forgotten about her lip. When I think back about it she was more interested in saving the melon than her head so maybe the food behaviour expert wont be needed after all . So I got to take some better pictures for the Bear in the end.

I think we'll be alright, considering Ben likes to try everything. I regularly described him as 'Sushi boy'. His new favourite restaurant is Kyoto in Waterford, which he describes as 'the sushi place with everything I love'. He definitely has a better palate than me. (He even eats soup).

I've had some great talks with Ben this week and thought I'd share some of them with you.

Conversations with a 6 year old:-

So Ben should be in bed and its my turn to get him there;

Daddy:- 5 minutes

(10 minutes later)

Daddy:- 2 minutes

(3 minutes later)

Daddy:- 1 minute

(2 minute later)

Daddy: OK, Ben time for bed. 

Ben:- .......that wasn't 1 minute.

Daddy:- it was much longer than that. Come on it's time for bed. 

Ben:- (grumpy face) .....that's why I hate minutes!! They never do anything for me. 

Daddy:- HaHaHa,  you can have one more minute. I have to write that one down. 

Ben:- Yes. (Pumps fist)

Understanding relationships

so we were on the way to Wickow to visit granny. 

Daddy: You do realise that your granny is my mammy

Ben:  ...Puzzled look....

Daddy: Like, if you had a baby then your mammy would be a granny.  

Ben:  ...Puzzled look....

Daddy: So you're now 6. In about 15 years you could have a baby and then mammy would be their granny. 

Ben: Hahahaha she won't be old enough to be a granny. 

(side note: don't google the words 'old enough to be a granny' looking for a humorous photo as the results will not be safe to display on a laptop in front of kids)

Right that's all for this week. I'd love you to share this blog and get it out there. Thanks

 

Daddy P.