Movember so far..
So as regular readers will know I've signed up for Movember. As a man who's never grown facial hair before I didn't know if I could even grow a 'Cookie Duster'. I pictured myself with a Justin Bieber type attempt.. trying to convince people that I as actually doing Movember.
And with a hair colour that changes from ginger to brown to strawberry blonde depending on the weather who knows what was going to arrive on my upper lip? Would 'Mr. Tickles' match my hair colour? would I be left with an orange caterpillar on my upper lip?
Day 1... November 1st I had my final shave, time to grow a 'Nose Neighbour'.
Day 3.... Still nothing. I swear when I don't shave for a weekend I have more stubble. Oh no, maybe my future 'Crumb Catcher' has stage fright. ....Bieber here I come
Day 6.... There is something there but it just looks like I'm scruffy. Maybe I should get a sandwich board that says 'I'm not scruffy I'm doing Movember'
Day 7.... Maybe if I shave around my 'Lip shadow', it will stand out more.
Nope....now i just look like one of those men your parents warn you about. Hmmmmmm!!
Around this time my wife decided to ask me 'How long does it take real men to grown one',
Day 9.... Mo selfies start arriving online. Handlebars that look like they've been cultivated for months. 'How come that guy can look like Tom Selleck in 9 days and my ' Bro-merang' is still a sapling in a world of giant redwoods.
It's official I have Mo' Envy. Considering I'm collecting for men's health issues this is doing nothing for my mental health.
This is how other men's 'Cookie Dusters' look at this point.
Day 10... I have to put up a progress shot or I wont raise any cash. I'm a 1/3 of the way through it should look more like a 'Tea Strainer' than it is now. Maybe if I apply an instagram filter I can make it look bushier?
'Nope..... all the filter does is make my face look orange. Argh!!'
Day 12... Mamma Bear is staring at my upper lip as we talk. Trying to hide her dislike for my strip of fur. Then she says it 'Oh my God, you actually have the makings of a moustache there'
(Its official, I 'almost' have a moustache!*)
Day 13.... 'Urgh, your moustache is all bristly!!!.. get away from me'
Day 14.... My moustache was permanently documented by a government agency and got me in trouble for drinking from the carton.
Me: I have my 1st proper milk moustache.— DaddyPoppins (@DaddyPoppinsBlg) November 14, 2016
Wife: are you drinking straight from the carton again?
Me: mm no
*puts carton back in fridge
Day 17... Bella (my 1 year old) has noticed my 'Soup Strainer', this morning she stared at it inquisitively then reached up a tiny finger and rubbed it and burst out laughing. I'm sure it was the sensation on her finger rather than the state of my 'Bristle Batons'. At least that's what I'm telling myself.
Day 18... Picking up Ben from school
'My Daddy is growing a moustache', he shouts, pointing at my upper lip while surrounded by kids and other parents on the school run
About 30 people turn and assess my upper lip. I get a knowing smile from another #Movember buddy
'See I told you', Ben says with a smile to a classmate
'Look its all orange!!', he then announces to his audience
'Right lets go', I say
'He didn't believe me that you were growing one Dad' he says as we get into the car.
'Whys that?' I ask
'I suppose he didn't think you could', he adds!!
Day 19... I've taken to checking out my 'Flavour Saver' in the mirror. Its exactly like a ginger caterpillar on my upper lip. Maybe this is how hipsters start... 'Is Movember a gateway drug?'
Should I buy myself some retro shades and a scarf and start using the phrase 'I liked them before they were cool'
Day 21.. Having not received a donation in about a week I woke up to a one from 'The Batman' ….Nice. Ive decided to tell myself that if Batman appreciates my moustache it has to be cool.
So we're 21 days into Movember and I've decided to write a progress report
and here it is:-
- I have fuzzy orange whiskers on my upper lip and I'm getting no loving.
- I'm €75 towards my €200 target.
- My wife, kids and neigbhours are having great fun teasing my 'effort'
- Surely my mental anguish and interrupted love life is worth a few euros for a very good cause. If you'd like to donate then click here.
- Any donations are appreciated as the Tesco add says 'every little helps'
And now for the serious bit...
For all my messing around the Movember movement is really important. Too many men are dying young. whether it be through prostate cancer, testicular cancer, mental health problems or suicide. The Movember foundation is fighting to 'stop men dying too young'
Till next Time
- Daddy P