Blog 5: Karmas a B***h (How to spot CDO)

So I was just sitting there minding my own business, observing the Friday night ritual known as 'wine o'clock' between the Bear and an (as yet unnamed) neighbour. Then.... they got round to the subject of my blog.

Bear: I usually don't know what he's put up until one of the girls in my office tells me. Then I have to go and check what he's said this week.

(quick glance in my direction)

Bear: One of the girls said they loved the blog but.....'He makes ya out to be some wagon?'

Daddy: Makes ya out?.....ha!

(not sure if I thought that or said it out loud, shit they're looking over, time to slink back into 'observation mode'... like a tortoise retreating into the sanctuary of his shell)

Bear: Sure look at him, sitting there on his phone probably taking notes. Ya can't say nothing anymore.

(I splutter out an involuntary chuckle, as that's exactly what I'm doing)

Bear: This better not go in your blog!!

Daddy: Hahahaha, I promise

 

Fingers crossed... doesn't count

So as I sit here writing this, feeling brave, the Bear in the next room (where she can't see what I'm writing till I publish it ) I think its time to discuss her CDO.

What's CDO you may ask?

 

The Bear has CDO, I reckon anyway. She's one of those 'functioning CDO people', you wouldn't notice it unless you were looking for it (or your partner wrote a blog about it). She has lists of lists. Organised is her middle name.

(Side note: her full name must be 'The Organised Bear').

I'm going to make a very bold statement here (not bold like spreading the intimate details of our lives, or telling the world about her CDO but Bold as in 'will most likely live to regret putting this in print')

Right here it is..... 'Being a stay at home Dad is not hard'

...... however, being a stay at home Dad to a CDO sufferer's standard is very hard. How can you compete with someone who makes 'lists of list!!'

Jon Richardson describes the struggle best in this video about 'putters and leavers'. If you've 2 minutes to spare then give it a watch.

I'm a leaver, she's a putter, that's a polite way to put it.

Disclaimer:-

I love the Bear, we're together 20 years this year (Awh!). I presume she loves me too or else she's just been 'making do' for a very very long time. In essence what I write about her and my kids on this blog should be taken with a grain of salt (probably enough to induce instant kidney failure in fact).

So how do you spot a 'functioning CDO sufferer';

 

of course there's the lists and cleaning but there also 1 major flag waving sign

 

.... hand sanitizers.

 

 

 

However, this week as I was preping Ben's school lunch, I found this (see below) in the Bears lunch stuff.... (This is a sure sign of living with someone with CDO)

Another sure sign of CDO is noticing the grains of sugar on the counter in front of the bottle

Disclaimer or not, that's pretty mad isn't it? Does anyone else's partner take a large bottle of hospital grade antiseptic alcohol solution around with them? (If they do then they have it)

Indoor play area

So when the Bear suggested I take Bella off to 'Run Amuck' in Tramore, firstly it was really out of character and secondly I was ready for the 'hygiene speech'.

'Clean her hands with antiseptic cream before she gets in'

'Don't let her put the balls in her mouth'

'Clean her hands with antiseptic cream as soon as she gets out'

So off we went to the indoor play centre and what's the first thing I did? Of course... I sent the Bear a photo of Bella licking the balls

MMMMMMMM, Tasty. Bella 1 CDO 0

MMMMMMMM, Tasty.

Bella 1 CDO 0

'Haha that'll set her off', I thought. (God I love stirring the pot*)

 

Karma Karma Karma

So here we are 5 days on..... Bella is sick. 100 plus temperature, snots running down her face. Not sleeping. Not eating.

'Stay at home dad is bearing the brunt'. The bold statement has come back to bite me in the ass, twofold.

 

So here is what I've learned this week:-

Karma's a b***h

The Bear is always right

Stay at home Dad'ing is not easy (and should never be described as such)

Run Amuck is great fun

What Ben has learned this week:-

There is 'Smurf flavour' ice cream

Hard works gets its rewards

You can make a smile out of sushi rice

If Daddy keeps telling you that 'your eyes will go funny from using the tablet too much', you can trick him with fake eyes

And finally there's an old crazy TV show called 'Banzai' that is really fun

 

What Bella has learned this week:-

Licking balls in an indoor play area is fun..... at the time

Karma is a b***h

Don't put a babygrow over your head and run at a wall. You will not win

 

What the Bear has learned this week:-

She's always right (even if she has CDO)

 

...Thats all for this week.

Make sure you check in next week for my public apology to the Bear ;)

Daddy P